Weather report from Venus

NASA photo

"Howdy everyone, this is your weather reporter Blissful Hope.   The word on the street is 'Stay home and stay cool!'  Today's high temperature looks like it will set a new Venusian record at a blistering  900 degrees F.  Let's check in with our climate expert, Professor Greenhouse, to see what he thinks of this. 

Professor, what do you make of this new record?"

"Well, Blissful, of course no single weather event can be blamed on Venusian warming.  However, we can say that this sort of heatwave is consistent with our climate models.  The models predict that with 965,000 parts per million of CO2 in our atmosphere, the temperatures are going to be hot enough to melt lead."

"Thank you Professor.  For a different point of view, we take you Max Doubtfire, a leading skeptic of the Venusian warming theory.

Max, how do you account for this record heatwave?"

"Now, Blissful, heat records come and go.  Blaming this on CO2 is bad science.  We aren't convinced that it's really all that hot here on Venus.  And besides, if we stop producing CO2, our economy will go to hell."

"And for yet another opinion on this complex and controversial topic, let's go to Mary Q. Contrary.  Mary, how do you see this hot weather?"

"Thanks for asking Blissful.  As you know 99% of climate scientists think that the heat is trapped by CO2.  But I think it could be something else--maybe because we're closer to the sun, maybe because the atmosphere is too darn thick, maybe it's sunstorms--anyway I don't think the evidence is conclusive."

"So there you have it folks, this debate is an even draw.  Even the experts can't agree.  Best we can do is stay out of the sun, and hope that it cools off tomorrow. . . or maybe move to another planet! Ha Ha. . .  That's it for today's weather report.

And now a word from our sponsor, the good people at CO2 conglomerated."